How much modern are we? Modern enough to have tremendous fun using dog-filter in snapchat, modern enough to click on haha signs over someone's death news in facebook, modern enough to giggle to death when someone pampers and also modern enough to be feminist whenever we feel like to. Our men seem to like to be fine with it. Apparently, they are being more liberal than ever, allowing their wives to work equally, respecting their so-called feminism. Then again, our high-authorities are comparing women empowerment with their pot belly-expanding only forward! The graph is also showing the puppet-numbers of improvement of women rights and all. Question is, is that really so??
Given the scenario of a middle-class family, if anyone observes the duty of the husband and a working woman, it would be pretty clear how vague the concept of feminism in this country is. A working lady doesn't get favor from her office. She is burdened with the same work load, same office hours like others. Then after completing office work, working lady starts her versatile character of the mother, wife, cook, teacher and much more. She is the official lost and found box of the family-the ultimate sleuth of daily life Pandora's box-secret closet of every member. What about the husband? Office and a routine grocery shopping are too much exhaustion for him. He will occupy the TV-kingdom with his remote-throne and after a majestic feast, the mighty king will fall asleep. Raising children is not a mandatory for fathers from the societal point of view. Exception is happening, but exception can't be an example. That is the actual scenario of most of the middle-class family which have working women. Where does this leave us? Is that a picture what Begum Rokeya painted hundred years back? Are our women becoming empowered or super-women? Is that equality or superiority? Is that the aim of feminism?
The term feminism, which I assume is overrated by our educated (!!!) women, is established within 19th & 20th century. The motto of the feminist movement, where the actual problem resides, was to become equal to men. The movement is divided into 3 waves throughout the years, where the first wave is against the legal inequality, the second wave is against cultural inequality and the third wave is about the continuity and against the attempts which were not successful from the first and second wave. It seems the movement is quite successful in a way. Women got powers in every way possible; at least it seems like that.
Overall, the main aim was always to end the discriminating view towards women in the patriarchal society. To dance to the tune of equality, our women had to come out of the cocoon. Eventually, they did, but our stereotype mentality did not. To prove themselves, they actually have added a bonus pressure on the shoulder. Indisputably, men accepted women empowerment, didn't embrace it. They have accepted freedom for women from every aspect without sharing their burden; therefore, at the end of the day, the result is again zero. This is a long-established societal system which is not that easy to break down.
The hemlock lies within the ideology itself. When anyone is trying to become equal to someone, he/she is already considering it as the supreme one. Women are trying to be equal to men, except wanting to be equal to human. When did men become the barometer of equality? Nature made men and women as complementary, not competitor. Sadly, our ultra-modern feminists took feminism as a security jacket against men-sucking the privileges-making the womanhood more friable and complicated. Every human being has a right; we need to protect that first. Before being anything else, we need to be human first. We have to realize the fact, whatever equality we demand that is ours because we are human, not because we are women. Superiority or inferiority doesn't depend on predestined things, it depends on achievement. Thus, whether it's household chores or raising children-both are the equal shareholder of these things. Until women don't understand the essence of equality, they will always need an '-ism' or legal help to protect themselves. Thus, both men and women should alter the mindset of being superior or privilege-holder and be the lock & key for each other. Ishrat Binte Aftab is schooling with BRAC University