They lived happily ever after-the phrase seems very satisfying and at the same time, unreal too! Marrying the man we admire and love the most is surely a dream come true-like the last page of fairytales or last minutes of lovey-dovey romantic movies; but is that the end of the story? Hell no! Most women find it hard to mix and mingle with the in-laws, especially in this subcontinent. Ignoring in laws might appear convenient, but is actually not the right way to handle relations with your new family. Understanding is a far better and sustainable alternative than ignoring. Here are some ways you can do to maintain your relation with in laws.
Respect the elders. Show respect when you talk, eat or even when you are just sitting idle in front of them. Playing with smart phones should be banned completely. Show attention to the conversation or the food you are eating. Attentiveness would reflect your wellbeing to them. Don't feel afraid of asking about the family history. Show an interest in your partner's heritage and background. If they romanticize the past, grin and bear it.
Stay in touch whenever possible, especially if you are a working woman. It would be really difficult for you to stay in constant contact as you will be doing office work. Therefore, you need to keep that in mind and keep calling or messaging them frequently. Even if that is for a short time, tell them your daily life incidents, this will make them feel closer to you.
Try to volunteer for jobs. Volunteer to help in the kitchen or with the laundry, or find opportunities to buy stuff or to fix a broken item at home. This would bring a special kind of affection towards the family besides showing your hidden talents. If you are a working lady, you will get less time to share job with. Still try to manage a little time for them, it will seem a nice gesture. There is always complain about new generation that they do not respect the elders. Try to change the statement by your action.
Make an effort or I would say special effort to know them. We tend to dislike or ignore people only when we don't really know who they are. Ask your partner to help you draw out a family tree and memorize it if you find it hard to remember all the names and various relationships in the family. Try to be positive and smile in every nice gestures. A smile is a starter to many great things, including good relationships. Whenever you bump into your in-laws remember to give them a genuine smile. Start a conversation. Take steps to start the conversation since you are the newcomer. They might expect you to make the move first. Be ready to accept any kind of replies or response. You will adapt with them and they will too. Just be yourself with much compassion, you will be a super daughter in law!
The writer is schooling with Brac University