Published:  12:00 AM, 24 February 2017

Simple tips to deal with your disrespectful teens


Disrespecting teenagers are very tough to handle. Light jabs if unchecked can lead to big punches. Your teenage son may choose to be disrespectful due to issues concerning his school, body image, friendships or study worries. If you are struggling with this situation, don't worry this article will help you to guide your teenager rectify his behavior.
What makes a teenage disrespectful?
Before getting into the ways of dealing with your disrespectful teenager, let's look at the underlying causes:
* Do keep in mind - if you are laying too many restrictions, it could indirectly encourage your teenager's disrespectful behavior. His budding independent spirit will not tolerate too many rules and his resentment will destroy any respect your son has for you.
*    Mommies, please understand that your child learns to respect others by watching his parents. If your son sees you disrespecting each other, he will pick up those bad habits and practice the same. If you are not respectful towards your child too, don't expect respect in return.
How to deal with disrespectful teenagers?
You need to admit the fact that your child is now almost an adult. He now has feelings and thoughts he never had before. This is the time when he usually has a radical and contrary view of everything. Now that he is starting to think, analyze and question everything around him, a change in his behavior and approach to their family should be considered as a normal part of growing up.

Here's what to do with disrespectful teenagers:

1. Understand that this is happening to every child who enters teenage. This is not only a trying time for him, but also for you, and by tackling the situation calmly, you will also helping him in return.
2. It is very important how you react to your teenager's attitude. Continue calmly even if your child is being too rude.
3. Your son will try to push your boundaries - don't take the bait. Remember you are his role model. He will learn from you on how to react in different situations.
4. Focus on the disrespectful behavior and not on him. Talk to him about how you felt about his behavior. Instead of finger pointing or saying "How dare you say that", express yourself with sentences like, "I was really hurt by your behavior".
5.    You must set clear rules for communication and behavior. You can involve your teenager in the rule making process that will remind him that he too was part of the process.
6.    You can break a stalemate with humor. Being light hearted can also take out the heat of the situation. It is better not to mock, ridicule or express sarcasm.
What must you avoid?
Teenagers misbehave without aiming to be rude at times. While dealing with a disrespectful teenager may not be easy, here are some blunders you must not commit:
*Arguing rarely works. When your teenage son is angry, it is easy for him to say things that he doesn't mean. The best approach in this situation is to stay calm.
*    If you are trying to bring up a difficult topic, you need to be very careful about the timing. A bad timing will completely ruin all chances.
*    A better approach would be to tell your teenager that you need to talk and they can come back to you for the discussion when they want to.

A final word:

Do not fret too much, as this time will eventually pass. Your teen is still your child, always needing your love and attention, only now he is also desperate for independence.
*    Don't smother him in this time of transience, be more sensitive and make him understand he can always rely on you.
*    Being defensive is rarely useful. There is no point in taking things too personally. Deal with your teen's disrespect just as you dealt with his tantrums when he was toddler - with gentle understanding.
*    You can also get support from other family members like an aunt or a family friend to ease the tension between the two of you.

If none of the above strategies work and he continues to be disrespectful, it may be because of external issues. In such cases, familial intervention or even professional support may be needed and should be offered without delay, so that your child can be brought back to the right path without delay.

The writer is freelance contributor at  www.momjunction.com

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