Ever wonder what it will be like when your little boys hit puberty? Think the teen years will be exciting, challenging, and fulfilling? Want someone who has “been there, done that” to tell you how it really is?
1.Everything will smell.
Their car.Their closet. Their bathroom. Their bedroom. The hallway that leads to their room. It will be a funky, sweaty, noxious, musty, foul, deodorant soap-covering-perspiration, “I am no longer a little boy” type of odor. No candle, plug-in, floral spray or wax melt comes close to touching it. So stop trying. When they move out, painting the room and replacing the carpet MAY help.
2.They will suddenly want to wash their own sheets.
They will bounce down the stairs with all of their bedding wrapped up in a tiny ball, duck into the laundry room, and out of nowhere suddenly want to start the washing machine with no help. Don’t ask. Don’t help. Don’t acknowledge. Move on, mom. This doesn’t involve you. Just a boy and his dreams.
3.There is no frustration greater than teaching a teenager how to drive.
I’m almost done teaching my second son how to drive. I’ve got chewed-up cuticles, severe hair loss, and a scrip for reducing heart palpitations to prove it. No matter how cautious, careful, and smart of a driver they appear to be, and even with mom riding shotgun, dents will happen. So will things like, “Does yellow happen before or after green?” and, “Is 65 the fastest I can go?”
4.When not sleeping, they are eating.
Ever wake up at 3 a.m. to what sounds like raccoons in your kitchen digging through the garbage for food? Folks at Costco finally give you a parking spot up front? Then you get it. I live in “Never Enough Burritos” land. Someone please invent a pepperoni pizza patch that I can slap on their arms and that will offer 24-hour continuous nourishment.
5.They will take risks.
Big ones. Mind-numbing ones. Risks that your shy, overly cautious, hesitant little boy would never takeBasically, boy brains are fearless, reckless, and have zero sense of consequences.
6.They will not want to hug much anymore.
Like ever. But keep trying. They may seem aloof and un-wanting of your affection, but don’t believe it. They want it. Hug when and if you can.
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