Published:  01:00 AM, 02 July 2017

The truth of loving wife is beauty personified

(Continuing from previous issue)

Honesty is beautiful; kindness is beautiful; and intelligence is beautiful… For attractive lips, speak words of kindness. For lovely eyes, seek out the good in people. For a slim figure, share your food with the hungry. For beautiful hair, let a child run their fingers through it once a day. For poise, walk with the knowledge that you never walk alone. People, more than things, have to be restored, renewed, revived, reclaimed, and redeemed. Remember, if you ever need a helping hand, you will find one at the end of each of your arms.

As you grow older, you will discover that you have two hands, one for helping yourself and the other for helping others. He longs to be with his wife unto death. Wahid seeks out his loving wife Mahfuza. Inside her soul, he is a welcomed a hero. It is truly gorgeous to feel appreciation for a woman and for a woman to feel appreciated by her husband is unbelievably heart-warming and confirming. We really need to support each other and not measure up against each other. What helps to build and confirm our own love is the support from our men-folk. For many centuries women have lived pitted against each other: it is debilitating and heartbreaking to live like this.

When love develops, and we connect to the innate loveliness that we all are-without exception it opens the door to appreciating our wives. This inner confidence also helps us to have an understanding of their insecurities, rather than a judgment. The glow we feel from a woman who is truly confident, and lovely is something that is reflected from within and a glorious reminder of who we all are, innately so.

Let's not hold back-true relationships are only realized when we are able to embrace support, love, and connection with husbands like the poet of this book to our wives. This truth of loving women is beauty personified. Wives coddle when we are sick-men are wimps when it comes to being sick. Men can often go days without us even knowing they are sick. Even when they are sick, they continue on with their daily activities as if nothing is wrong. But when husbands get sick, it is almost take-me-to-the-emergency-room feeling.

While she knows we are not that bad off, she still takes time to baby us, even taking a sick day to care for us. When the last time was any husband took off a day of work to help his wife? Wives, we love your coddling! This poetry book truly portrays the deep love between the poet, Wahid and his wife, Mahfuza. There is much we have come to know about Mahfuza: she loves her husband, she adores her family, she is living the life she most desires, and she is pretty darn happy!

Wahid's poetry book is presented magnificently in an offset printing format. The cover page poses a lovely picture of his charming wife. He solemnly has dedicated this book to his grandfather and father who were the role models of honoring their wives and to those who are keeping the dignity of their wives very high. The Prologue Part of this book describes the poet's own thoughts about wives with brightness. Famed poet Asad Chowdhury has written the Preface of this book eulogizing the poet of this book and praising him formally and eloquently for writing such a poetry book honoring his wife. Pathak Shamabesh has done a wonderful job in publishing this book of a feeling of delighted approval and liking.

Wahidul Haque did his Masters with B.A. (Hons.) in History from the University of Dhaka in 1972-76 batch. Retiring after serving with different government and private organizations including Scholastica Group in key positions for 36 years as specialist in information, editing of books, manuscript editing, translator, he is now Head of Publication Department at Pathak Shamabesh, the country's leading publishing house of qualitative books.

He married Mahfuza Begum in 1980 who is having 26 years of experience in Scholastica School Management, the number one school in Bangladesh playing important role in this prestigious school. Since 2008, she has been with Milestone School and its Management, another esteemed school of the country playing her important role. Besides that, she is a loving wife, mother of two proud children and dedicating her rest of the time in her household works. She is like "I love you in the morning and in the afternoon…" Wahid and Mahfuza are two souls with but a single thought, two hearts that beat as one. Wahid feels that Mahfuza's love is the strength that drives him to do everything. His firm conviction is that the real men stay faithful.

They don't have time to look for other women; his wife's love is the doctor to his wounds, friend to his sorrows; all that he loves is her; he loves who they are and their life together; he lives life entirely for loving Mahfuza; when life seems to suffocate with problems and issues, she likes a gasp of fresh air and her husband's love revives her and keeps her strong. The poetry of this wonderful book reminds us that each day in their life begins and ends perfectly. It starts with rolling over to see each other's face and it ends when Wahid wraps his arms around Mahfuza in the evening. More than anything else is, he loves being with her.

Every day that passes reminds her to thank the universe for giving her a husband as loving and wonderful as he is. To Wahid, his wife is "Your love is like a sweet, exciting wave that washes me away from everything that I know. It brings me to a world of true perfection and love." Similar way, Mahfuza takes to be true: "I trust you, but not because you are my husband. The reason I trust you is because you are the epitome of everything that a man should be." Wahid's wife is the love of his life, and the light of his day. He will love her forever. I would say women who read magazines about finding the perfect husband are out of luck, but Mahfuza has found the world's best husband.

When I read his poems, these give me a feeling that the poet wants to say to his wife: "If you were a tree, I'd be a vine. If you were a beach, I'd become the river. If you are a bee, then I will be the flower. Everything I do is so that I can be in your arms again." It is like times are hard, but sharing them with such a beautiful wife makes everything easier. The most difficult of burdens are made simple when he is with her. The poet's wife seems like echoing the same voice that every day that she gets to be his wife; she thanks the universe for bringing him to her. Over the time, the poet takes his relationship and love for granted. I just want to let everybody know that he loves, cares and respects her more everyday that they are together.

A deep faith and trust must, therefore, underlie true conjugal love and that the trust is the most sacred and inviolable thing in a marriage life, because it is the very foundation of its possibility. Deception and faithlessness destroy conjugal love because, and exactly to the extent that, they undermine the grounds of that trust. For the same reason, honest and open interchange about long-standing goals and attitudes stands at the heart of marriage. Conjugal love involves the appeal of body and instinct, the power of feeling and affectivity, the aspirations of spirit and will. All of these aim at a union beyond the flesh, a union of heart and soul.

This definitive mutual self-giving demands indissolubility, faithfulness, and openness to children also. In this way, natural conjugal love expresses in human values. Thus the underlying message of this poetry book clearly stands for belles-lettres of conjugal love between two souls and its appeal is inspiring and universal. A Spanish Proverb says: "Tell me whom you live with, and I will tell you who you are." As I read on and on a closer analysis, therefore, I realize that the couple is a unique one. Thus the couple could be said to embody the myths of both Prometheus and Sisyphus, that is, it tries to achieve the impossible, a unity of differences, not once but over and over. It tries to cause to be and to keep in being that which in a sense is not and cannot be, to bring into being a more-than-blood relationship by sheer act of will.

I wish to admire Wahidul Haque for writing such a masterpiece on his conjugal life in the form of verses. I also wish to remember what Edward Young has said: "There is something about poetry beyond prose logic, there is mystery in it, not to be explained but admired."To fulfill the prophecy, Mahfuza has traded her life for her dearest husband. The book ends with life has tasted sweeter in full-blown. The book is an epos; and a body of poetry that conveys the traditions of a society by treating some epic theme. Please share your personal iconic women whom you admire, and tell us why. We would love to hear about them. "If we want a love message to be heard, it has got to be sent out. To keep a lamp burning, we have to keep putting oil in it" was aptly said by Mother Teresa.

A good reading of Wahidul Haque's epic love poems on his romantic love and conjugal life reveals: "Tell the truth, or someone will tell it for you."Finally... a masterpiece! How have I missed this author? This is one gorgeous novella or novelette that I am itching to reread. This book is a real gem in the Wahid-Mahfuza Line. One has to read it to really get it! Conjugal Love is a precise character study of two Bengalis in love in conjugal life in Bangladesh. The husbands should learn something special from this chef-d'oeuvre of poetry book.

The reviewer is a freelance writer

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