I was troubled by the singular image of a bride that our society has – with tons of makeup, a weighty dress and mounds of jewellery weighing her down,” Tasnim wrote in a Facebook post.(Tasnim Jara Facebook page)
If you are a bride-to-be, you’d know what it takes to look extra perfect and beautiful on your wedding day. With everybody fussing around you, the weight of the designer dress or being decked in gold is the last thing on your mind.
Tasnim Jara, president of Aroggo, a healthcare start-up, and former president of UN Youth Advisory panel, would have none of it for her marriage. She walked in for her wedding reception in Dhaka, on December 15, 2016, wearing her grandmother’s cotton saree, without any make-up or jewellery.
Tasnim’s family’s reaction, however, was on expected lines: In a Facebook post, uploaded on August 9, she recounted their resistance on her rebellious move.
Her post received more than 102K reactions and almost 27,000 shares. “Certain members of my family even said that they won’t take any photo with me because I didn’t dress like (they imagine) a bride. I was troubled by the singular image of a bride that our society has – with tons of makeup, a weighty dress and mounds of jewellery weighing her down,” Tasnim wrote in her post.
“Don’t be fooled, this lavish image of a bride does not represent the financial well-being or agency of a woman in the family. This sometimes rather happens against their will. As if the society has decided that if we really have to spend money on women, we spend it against their will and for a cause that won’t do them any good,” she added.
While maintaining that she is not against girls who want to use make-up, wear jewellery and expensive clothes on their wedding, Tasnim calls out for a need to give the girl the right to make her own choice.
In the post, Tasnim says she’s against the tradition which forces women to do things in which their consent is not counted. “It is a problem when she loses her agency in deciding what she would like to wear on her wedding day.
When the society forces her to doll up and look like a different person, it gives a message that the authentic look of a girl isn’t good enough for her own wedding. A girl should not need a whitening lotion, a gold necklace or an expensive saree to be accepted as a bride or to make her feel confident. So I arrived at my wedding venue wearing my dadu’s saree, with zero makeup and no jewellery. People may call it simple, but it was very special to me, for what I believe in and what it means to me,” she added.
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