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Published:  12:00 AM, 10 October 2017

Searching


I think about writing every other day. About the little some things that sometimes slip away and nothing at all. Clearly i never get around to do that. Some days just pass too fast and I want there to be more hours in a day- to complete the never ending to-do lists, to breathe, to relax and ponder. And there are some days like today, when i keep checking the time and it seems to stand still. Weekends are blissful most of the times. Except the Friday evening classes and make-up classes on Saturdays and work that comes up once in a while.

In the past few months, I have been searching for answers, trying to figure out things- both about myself and others around me. Often, i lose track of time. of conversations. of patterns. I just phase out. My brain cells seem to shut down by evening, and i begin to ponder. At other days, i just keep thinking about 150 things at the same time. Keep questioning, keep searching, and keep exploring.

Sometimes, I just stand still and feel this would the moment that I would know the answers. to all those jumbled up puzzles and questions. But, that does not happen. I am still searching. Still trying to figure out the answers. there is no guarantee on anything. But i seem to seek guarantees, and assurance. Not just for a specific time period, but for as long as i may be alive. That does not happen for products, does it? How would it happen to other things?

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