Those are the words by Washington Irving which speaks of the love and friendship that I shared with my mother Hasna Hena Qadir, who passed away on 12 November 1999. The whole world came down on me on that very sad day and life has never been the same for me.
She was, in most part of her life, a single mother as I lost my father -- Lt. Col. M. Abdul Qadir -- in the great War of Liberation in 1971.She was young and beautiful but never gave the place of my father in her heart to anyone else and remained firm against re-marrying as suggested by some relatives.
"I will only believe that your Papa is dead if you can bring me one proof," she told me many times. I used to ask her teasingly what kind of magic spell my Papa knew that she would not choose a new life partner to make her life easy. Hena would only smile from the corner of her lips with her eyes sparkling with her love for my Papa.
Her love made me go for a long search to find my father's grave after he went missing on 17 April 1971 when the Pakistani army arrested him. With God's great mercy, I was gifted with my father's grave in 2007 and he was re-buried with state honours on 22 September 2011 in Qadirabad Cantonment, named after him for his contribution to our Liberation War.
On that day, I looked up to the sky and told Hena that I was sorry I could not find Papa when she was still around. I consoled myself that surely she could see from above.
Hena was also a very proud and elegant lady. She was known as a very fashionable lady who wore the TIP on her forehead as a Bengali woman which was not liked by my father's Pakistani colleagues. She was also one of Pakistan's best Japanese Ikebana floral arrangement experts.
When anybody tells me that I am smart or stylish, especially in the world journalism, I give her the credit. Both Hena and my papa knew how to carry what they wore, and had their own fashion statement. Hena did not allow me cut my moustaches, but did not object to my long hairs since school days.
She lived with dignity and never bowed to anybody except Allah. Honesty, dedication and commitment were her trademark and she nurtured those qualities among her children.I know those qualities are of no value in the present circumstances as people are now fighting for territories, money and fame, without having the necessary qualities.
I asked her many times why she nurtured us with these qualities along with true love as the world is otherwise just the opposite. "You do not actually lose anything ... in the long-run you will always be the winner." And now, when I feel those qualities have no worth. The world is filled with people with double faces and trying to drub people who have those qualities. I know her answer would be no different.
I never keep artificial flowers or plants in my home. Hena always kept fresh flowers and green plants, saying they added life and warmth to our home. Think, just the difference it makes. I follow that in my small home. I find her in each of the flowers or greens in my home.
After enrolling in Dhaka University, she chose the subjcet that I should pursue, and told me "Do not get involved in politics as in the absence of your father you have to finish your education on time and get on with your life." However, I tried to understand which political party other than the Awami League was pursuing as we were indoctrinated with Bangabandhu and the Independence War.
She lived her 62 years of joy, happiness, tragedies, struggle, but never compromised. She even chose hardship instead of bowing down to get what was even her right as the wife of a martyred army officer, but lived a life of dignity.
Hena was not only my mother, but also my greatest friend. I had no secrets from her, even the darkest ones. I believed she not only gave me birth, but also sacrifice her life for her me along with other children.
Hena appreciated that and told me, despite my shortcomings, that every child should follow me in relations to his mother. I have conveyed this message to many children in trouble. "Mothers understand you must and also are the most forgiving."
With her sudden departure, weeks ahead of visit to Thailand and Australia after my younger brother got married, the whole world fell on me and I became the loneliest man in the universe. I often speak to my parents, surely in the best of Heavens, and seek their prayers and love.
That keeps me going.
Hena has been and still is all around me as the greatest "Ammu" in the whole world. I am confident her love and teachings will continue to guide me, and I can also influence others around me to follow the same.One thing I cannot agree with her --- she should not have left me alone.Live in peace and pray for me dear Hena, my extraordinary mother and best friend!
The writer is Roving Editor,
The Asian Age