When there are two people, there are bound to be misunderstandings and differences. That's how human nature works. If you and your SO are in the midst of one, you often wonder why us? Instead, think of what next? You need to take the appropriate steps to clear it up and move on to a happier time. Serious misunderstandings, when swept under the carpet can magnify within no time, and have the tendency to creep up in most ugly conversations. Read on to find out how to resolve one.
Check your presumptions
If you look back, you will admit to yourself that most misunderstandings that you have gone through have involved some kinds of presumptions that have been made either by you or the other person. Sit back, take a deep breath and truthfully analyze if you have presumed anything, and admit it. Similarly, if you are upset about something he assumed which is untrue, analyze it and instead of holding a grudge, talk to him about it. Apologize, if you have gone wrong. It's as simple as that!
Leave room for different perspectives
Two people, two opinions. You both need to understand that just because the other person has a different perspective, it doesn't mean that person is wrong. You have to look at things from his viewpoint and how he perceived things, and let him know how you perceived things differently. Human beings often get dejected when their ideas are opposed or not accepted immediately, and then try to convince the other person into acceptance. Leave that part out, so you can eliminate chances of yet another misunderstanding
Think of his strengths
You know him well enough to know how he functions and what his strengths and weaknesses are. Play up his strengths, and if the misunderstanding has occurred due to an inherent weakness, work around it instead of complaining, "You always do this!" Focus on his strengths, and let him know that you did not expect this out of him or that you expected better. Also, consider his fears, and steer clear of attacking him on those.
You approach him
There's no place for pampering an ego if your intention is to clear a misunderstanding. Don't think "Why should I let go?" or "Why should I always be the one to talk to him first?" Thoughts like these delay the process of communication to everyone's detriment. So surprise him and yourself, and just approach him to talk it out. Ensure you communicate calmly, and instead of distributing blame, communicate how you felt. It will work much better. The goal should be easing the situation, not to be proven right.
Don't bring in others
Many people have the habit of involving third parties-be it trusted friends or family members-at the drop of a hat, when they get into an argument with their partners. It's best to avoid it, since you are elevating the blame game and the feeling of taking sides when you get in a third person. Also, it is a rather private matter, between you and your SO, which doesn't need to be publicized among loved ones.
The writer is a freelancer
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