"The first memories I have of my dad are of him in a drunken state. Mom and him would get into ugly fights, he'd even talk to me in a demeaning way and the next day, he'd forget about it.
Sometimes he'd pass out on the street outside our building. And sometimes he'd get so violent, that we'd have to call the cops. I remember when I was 10, my dad came home one evening and was in a state of rage. My mother was so scared that he'd hurt me or her -- that she quickly held my hand and rushed out of the house. We didn't even have any shoes on -- we waited on the staircase, hiding, until the cops came.
That's when my mother decided to file for divorce and ask my dad to leave the house. But for me, the damage had already been done. I couldn't move on. My mom was the sole breadwinner, so she'd be out a lot and I'd be home alone. I went into a state of anxiety and depression.
I was already on the edge, and something as small as this was enough to trigger me. I came home, and started spiralling. I couldn't continue anymore... I wanted to kill myself.
But just then, my mom came home. She asked me what was wrong. I couldn't hold it in and told here what I felt. She helped me calm down and told me that time would heal everything.
I wasn't still 'okay', but I felt better. I realized that just talking about it helped. I realized that she'd been through so much more -- I could power through too. Someone else's wrong choices can impact me, but can't alter my life.
Today, I'm still trying to heal the scars of my past, I'm still often anxious and depressed. But I've recently started therapy, and I've learnt to 'talk', rather than give up. Because I know that there are many who've suffered because of others in their life, who've seen hell, felt hell, and also many who if they'd had their voices heard, would probably still be alive today." Humans of Bombay, Fb
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