Steven Jacob
Relationship conflicts seem to be a regular theme among my clients. From problems with communication to issues being vulnerable with a romantic interest, relationship stress can snowball into bigger issues.
The specifics of each person's relationship vary, and no relationship is perfect, but simply put: A healthy relationship makes you feel confident, respected, and supported. Some characteristics that define the health of a relationship is mutual respect, compassion, trust, honesty, safety, and effective communication. While some of these characteristics seem apparent, it can be challenging to put all those into practice.
How to cultivate a healthy relationship
There are three fundamental principles to building a strong romantic relationship. They are:
1. Knowing your wants: While this may seem pretty straightforward, navigating the dating landscape is arguably harder than ever. Most of the single clients I've worked with have described to me the constant exhaustion and frustration in trying to find a romantic partner. From short-lived relationships that fizzle out to those that come to a dead-end, the underlying trend seems to be that either one or both parties don't fully understand their wants.
2. Choosing the right person: How do you go about choosing the right person? The key can be to actually look to the past. Look at your past relationships and romantic interests. What has made you happy and what has made you miserable? If you take a moment to ask yourself if there was anything you didn't like about individual relationships or qualities in previous partners, it will help you make a more refined decision for the next partner you date.
3. Practicing healthy relationship skills: Look, having a healthy relationship takes work in the same way living a healthy lifestyle takes work. Don't be discouraged if you feel that you don't have the skills for a healthy relationship-it's something that's pre-programmed. Healthy relationship skills such as insight, mutuality, empathy, commitment, emotional regulation, and commitment, along with many others, are things that require regular practice.
The skills every healthy relationship needs
This list of relationship skills is not exhaustive, but from my experience working with couples, these five skills are the key for a healthy and stable relationship. Each of these skills can be learned, but they do require a lot of practice to incorporate into your current or future relationship.
1. Insight: Insight is the ability to understand yourself and the ability to understand your partner. The benefit of insight in a relationship is that you can understand the causes and consequences of your behavior as well as learn from your mistakes. When you fully cultivate insight, you'll have a much better understanding of yourself and your partner or potential partner.
2. Mutuality: Everyone has needs, wants, and desires. Mutuality is recognizing that you and your partner have needs, wants, and desires, and it understands that certain sacrifices need to be made so that there's a high probability that both yours and your partners' needs can be met. When mutuality is fully developed, you can communicate clearly and effectively, meet your partner's needs with full support, and consider your partners' needs and preferences into your decision-making process.
3. Empathy: Empathy is the ability to understand or feel what another person is experiencing. Often when couples have come into my office after years of relationship conflict, the biggest thing that seems to be lacking empathy and support for one another. Each partner becomes entrenched in their position and refuses to see things from the other's perspective.
4. Commitment: Commitment is an essential ingredient in any healthy and long-lasting relationship. Any time we commit to something like either a cause, ambition, or activity, we oblige ourselves to do something. A relationship is no different. When we commit to a person, we're inherently saying that we're willing to make a sacrifice and dedicate ourselves to working through something.
The writer is a freelancer
Latest News