In a relationship, giving someone space is extremely important. But how do you give someone space without losing them (or being torn up inside with fear, for that matter)?
Often in relationships, there will come a point when one of you needs space. If it's not you (and he needs space), it can be scary and disheartening. It may even make you think there is something wrong with the relationship.
There probably isn't anything wrong and that's why you can become confused. You may find him pulling away from you or distancing himself which makes you question the whole relationship.
Perhaps your partner has said they need some space to breathe or you just feel like you both need it, it's perfectly normal and healthy. Giving someone space does come with anxiety though and you might not want to lose them (obviously).
However, sometimes by giving someone space you two will come back even stronger. If you do give someone space and for whatever reason, they don't come back, we have some advice for you at the end of this article, you're not alone.
The famous saying goes that if you let something go and it's meant to be then it will come back to you eventually. While this does happen, not everyone wants to let their partner go. It's hard to face reality sometimes but it's necessary in order to grow as a person.
Giving someone space doesn't mean you're going to lose them, it just means both of you can work on yourselves and come back stronger. Having space may even make you realize how much you two love and want each other in your lives.
Control Your Fears Being fearful to let someone go is completely normal and everyone will have anxiety surrounding it. If you're able to control your fears and anxiety, then this will help a lot to cope with giving space. If you find yourself trying to reconnect a day after you two have decided to take some time out, this isn't going to be enough for them and it's going to seem clingy.
The harder you get pushed away, the more you're going to want to be with that person. It might even make you obsessed with your partner which isn't good if they need space. Being able to stay sane while your partner is having some time to breathe might make you feel crazy, but you can do it, we believe in you!
1. Stop Texting and Calling Him
Having space means actually having space. That doesn't mean giving him an hour to think about your relationship before you start calling and texting him. While you're going through this time, don't text or call him unless it's necessary.
Texting is one of the worst things about a relationship because so much can be misconstrued. If you two aren't seeing each other and he needs space, don't attempt to squeeze yourself into his day by texting him none stop. The constant texting and calling may be the reason he needs space in the first place. You don't want to mess this up and perhaps you need some time to yourself too.
2. Make Your Own Decisions
When people get into relationships, they often leave their sense of individuality at home and become one. We wouldn't recommend doing this anyway and especially when you two are having some time apart. Standing on your own two feet and making decisions for yourself will allow you to feel more independent and less attached to your love. Decision-making is super powerful, and it helps you to grow when you're both apart and it may eventually help if you have to walk away too.
What Happens If They Don't Come Back?
It's a fear we all have when we give someone space from us, but the reality is that if it is going to work then it will, even if you two have had months apart. Relationships are meant to survive hardships and having space from each other shouldn't affect the way either of you feels.
If you give someone space and they don't come back try not to get too upset, it is scary and upsetting at first. Yet, it's happened to so many of us, you're definitely not on your own during this time. Talk to your family and friends to get everything off your chest.
Then move on with your life, it's best to start doing this whenever it's suggested to give someone else space. Focusing on yourself is always the most important thing and moving on will only make things easier if it ever comes to the two of you going separate ways.
3. Focus on Yourself
Before you got with your partner you probably had a few great hobbies, right? Take this time in your relationship to refocus on yourself. Start back at the gym and eating healthy or take up a new hobby! Focusing on yourself will give you more confidence and show you that if it comes down to the both of you breaking up, you could deal with it. If you're unhappy with yourself, such as your weight or another aspect, then do something about it. Focus on becoming better and loving yourself just as much as you love your boyfriend.
4. Don't Obsess Over It
Instead of thinking about the space between you two, think about other things. Obsessing over your relationship or the time away from each other will only make you want to go back to them before the time is right. This might even make you get in contact with them when all they need is a little time to themselves. If you think that social media will be an issue then turn them off for a day or two. It's a surprise we aren't all walking around crazy with how much we all depend on technology and social media these days.
5. Give Them Space
Reconnect with friends, try a new sport, work a little later, or do anything that will make you happy. This is the time to show how well you can hold yourself and that you can genuinely give them the space they need. Don't convince yourself that you're giving them space when you're still texting or calling them. You need to completely free yourself of them for as long as they need then rekindle when they want too.
The writer is a freelancer
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