Huraira Shishir
Relationship itself is complicated and delicate. It requires lots of nourishment love and care to make it a success. Couples sometimes face huge challenges in their relationship even though they want to and longing for maintaining a steady and cozy relationship. Sometimes disagreement erupts, misunderstanding happens, amicable conversation becomes difficult, ego blocks the road for mutual agreement. These are very common phenomena in a relationship; either they are a married couple or living in a relationship. For a healthy relationship, it is always expected to keep the channel open and mend the relationship before it is too late. There is always a way to makeup and build up a relationship.
Neither it is difficult nor is impossible if couples are willing to make that happen.
This article is not to grasp or cover the multiple shades and layers of relationship, rather to make sense of some of the issues urban couples face in their everyday life.
Research shows that 35 to 45 percent urban couples face critical and complex issues in their family life. Those issues are not just misunderstanding, or just little ego, they are varied in nature. Sometimes small issues, if they are not taken proper care of just on time, can go out of their hands, and can create a hell lot of problems. And it can drag the relationship at its breaking point. Don't you think that’s alarming?
Why are the issues in urban educated couples are different than that of the other segments of the society? There are multiple reasons and factors for that. It is our expectations that the educated urban couples are prone to accept the innate difference of their partners. They are brave enough to face the challenges of building up a long-lasting relationship. But realities are otherwise.
As an individual every person has his/her own desire and expectation from a relationship. When they live as a couple, that expectation and desire doesn’t die away, rather they glide through every aspect of relational bonding. Different partners have different opinions and they all are definitely valid as far as their personality and point of view is concerned. Nothing wrong or nothing right in Love and War! So, giving importance to your partner’s point of view, or respecting his/her opinion can make up a relationship fair and smooth.
Sharing is the bare minimum as well as a starting point of every relationship. When couples are committed to share good or bad feelings, bear all burdens together, accept liability, accountability and responsibility amicably, relationships fly high. Respect, care, honesty and trust are important trademarks of a healthy relationship. Lax, carelessness or insufficiency of these criterions create vulnerability in all sorts of relationships.
Why these situations can happen!! Who is to blame? Is it for husband or wife? What do we tend to believe whose fault it is? First of all, don’t be judgmental and don’t just waste your time to find out who is to blame. Rather start working on the problem. Always consider that nothing comes intentionally from anyone. There must be a reason behind misunderstanding or any discomfort. Start working on it.
Sometimes relationships face problems if there is a third person’s interruption (extra marital affairs). Extra marital relation is a hard reality. Over time it might happen. However, it is the couple who needs to take the blame for that relationship. Maybe the couple themselves, unknowingly, create a leeway for third person’s entry in their life. Over a long period of time, they probably created a distance among themselves, or nourished a toxic situation, or took it as granted, that might be the cause of extra marital relationships. If this situation goes unnoticed for days, weeks or months, then it finds its own way to invite a third person’s intrusion in their life.
Sometimes some couple start living a breathless or a hectic life. They forget the importance of living life with ease and happiness. They ignore or fear to face each other and avoid intra and interpersonal interaction. They fail to open up, leave misunderstanding unattained. They forget to discuss which show the value and care of a relationship. Situation like this unleashes an array of problems. So open up to each other, share and talk to each other. Show your partner that you do value your relationship. And you will be amazed to see how easy it is to build up or make up a relationship from a point where it was apparently unamendable.
“Chemistry is not always physical, maximum it’s mental. Both are Important ‘
Every couple has their own chemistry. Working on this chemistry is important. Without proper chemistry in a relationship, the journey together is really tough. How could you bring back your chemistry? Just follow the simple rule, give priority to your partner. Start finding some common activities that both of you like to do. Listen to music together, watch movies together, go for a walk together. This simple activity engenders new bonding.
Even after
Even after working on those tips, sometimes relationships don’t seem possible to make up. Situation like this needs a lot of open discussion. Before starting a discussion, you need to forgive and forget the past. Start new ways. Also never point at each other's past as a reference. Let the past go away, look for the immense possibilities of your future. Try to find out time, if possible, make a holiday plan without kids as short vacation. Healthy relationships are basic conditions to mental peace. Don’t way-work on it. Be the most supportive and friendly couple within a short Time.
“Sometimes life needs childish and craziness to cure burn heart “
Huraira Shishir is a writer
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