'What if I am not there...': Bibek Debroy’s final column offers a starkly honest reflection on human existence and a life devoted to scholarship

In an extraordinary reflection on mortality, economist and advisor to PM Modi, Bibek Debroy, who passed way earlier today, left behind an introspective self-obituary just days before his passing. The column, which he called "Requiem," and sent it over to The Indian Express, the paper for which he frequently wrote, is a compelling testament not only to his profound understanding of life and legacy but also the fleeting nature of human existence.

Debroy’s words echo an unwavering self-awareness, acknowledging the inevitability of his departure. "There is a world outside that exists. What if I am not there? What indeed?" he wrote. In these opening lines, Debroy confronted the prospect of his absence, questioning the significance of a life that, in the end, would leave only traces in memory and perhaps "a few condolences, perhaps even from important people."

Debroy, who was the Chairman of the Prime Minister's Economic Advisory Council (EAC-PM), passed away today. He also had led the Finance Ministry's Expert Committee on Infrastructure Classification and the Financing Framework for Amrit Kaal, contributing extensively to India’s economic strategies. In fact, just minutes after the news of his passing, PM Modi penned a poignant tribute, calling him a 'towering scholar’.

"Dr. Bibek Debroy Ji was a towering scholar, deeply engaged in diverse areas such as economics, history, culture, politics, and spirituality. His work left a profound impact on India’s intellectual landscape. Beyond policy contributions, he dedicated himself to making our ancient texts accessible to younger generations," the Prime Minister wrote, sharing a photograph with Debroy.

In addition to his distinguished career in policymaking and academia, Debroy was the second Indian after Manmatha Nath Dutt to translate both the Mahabharata and Ramayana in their unabridged forms into English.

Debroy’s translations of Hindu texts extended beyond the Mahabharata to include works such as the Vedas, Bhagavad Gita, Harivamsa, Bhagavata Purana, Markandeya Purana, Brahma Purana, Vishnu Purana, Shiva Purana, and Brahmanda Purana, among others, enriching access to these texts for English-speaking readers worldwide.

As Debroy described his time in the cardiac care unit (CCU) and later in a private room at AIIMS, he revealed the daily realities of his hospitalization. His wife, Suparna, whom he likened to "a modern-day Savitri-Satyavan," was by his side.

"As time goes, a month is fleeting," he noted, "but being virtually wiped off the face of the earth is not." From his hospital bed, he watched his external world shrink to "a thin sliver of a window" where a monkey would climb each morning—a vivid symbol of nature’s indifference to human suffering.

Although Debroy was known in the world of economics and economic theory for his towering contribution to monetary theory and trade, yet in his final writings, Debroy questioned the permanence of his achievements. "What will they mention?" he mused, recounting his decades of work across various domains, from trade work in the 1980s to railway reforms in 2015. "Nothing seminal about such work," he reflected, with a hint of detachment. The economist was candid about the ephemerality of fame, confessing, "Had a role in the rat race, was temporarily read and passed into oblivion."

The account of his final days also conveyed a raw and vulnerable honesty. Debroy recounted how even simple acts like calling for assistance or enduring routine medical procedures stripped away his sense of dignity. He reflected on his solitude with poignancy, detailing moments of reflection on his relationships, his work, and even his body. "A lump of flesh stretched out, stripped of normal norms of shame and modesty," he described himself.

As he contemplated his legacy, he did so with an almost existential detachment, acknowledging that his two sons, settled abroad, would have limited connection to his last moments in India. "They will be less of a help and more of a hindrance," he observed, adding that the digital traces he left behind would serve as mere "remembrances" rather than true imprints of his life’s essence.

A scholar steeped in the Indian epics and philosophical texts, Debroy often drew wisdom from his readings. He referenced the myth of Yayati, whose desire to extend his life had once struck him as a "desire for sensual pleasures," yet he now saw it as "a hankering after control over the physical body." In a touching passage, he also shared the struggle to "disassociate yourself from your body," quoting from the Ashtavakra Gita: "O Janaka! Give up attachment." Despite his intimate knowledge of the teachings, he found the detachment hard to attain. "It is easy, easier," he admitted, "but to disassociate yourself from your body? Impossible."

His thoughts concluded with a striking metaphor, a "delirious moment of bliss" in which he envisioned himself "whirled around the stellar system" as if separate from his body. It was a fleeting glimpse of transcendence, a brief escape from the physical and mental confines he found himself in. "The body will heal in due course," he remarked, acknowledging that the "beating the mind has taken" might stay with him, but possibly for the better.

Bibek Debroy’s parting words are a reflection not only of his own life but of universal truths about human existence and mortality. His self-obituary stands as a unique and contemplative document, capturing the delicate balance between life’s accomplishments and the quiet acceptance of its impermanence.


Arnav Das Sharma is working
as a Senior Assistant Editor
with Business Today.