Valentine’s Day Reflections

 

"Love is our true destiny. We do not find the meaning of life by ourselves alone— we find it with another," said Thomas Merton, and truly so. If there is but one smile within us, let us bestow it upon those we cherish. For where love abounds, there also dwells the sweetest of desires.

February 14th is celebrated across the globe as Valentine’s Day, a day when the world honors the legacy of St. Valentine. On this day, the people of Bangladesh, too, demonstrate their openness to embrace foreign ideas, often surpassing their originators in their fervent pursuit of these notions. We must commend the exuberance with which people engage in such festivities. Thus, each Valentine’s Day is marked by something new— something that renders the past year’s celebration but a fleeting memory. It is a day to revel in true affection for humanity itself.

From my own experiences of over decades of observing Valentine’s Day, by now the air would surely be thick with promotions, enticing men and women alike to partake in revelry and savor their indulgences in modest safety. This, too, is a new trend. I cannot help but reflect on my university days, where no grand festivities marked this occasion. But as the years rolled on, youth grew bolder and more adventurous, orchestrating events and securing corporate sponsorship. Each passing year saw brands and businesses vying for the attention of the youth, embracing the Valentine opportunity with fervor. It is a season one cannot help but notice.

I confess to feeling a pang of envy for couples who spare no effort on this day. I have friends who embark on romantic getaways to far-flung, exotic locales, seeking refuge from the heartbreak our country has become. Others devise elaborate plans within the nation’s borders. As for me, I no longer possess the grace to pour such energy, time, and resources into each February 14th. My resolve hardened after one ill-fated experience. Some six years ago, I decided to dine out in celebration. Alas! The traffic—both vehicular and human—was beyond belief. By the time I reached my destination, I was turned away for failing to secure a reservation.

It was the same story at another nearby venue. My evening, once hopeful, became a torment as I endured the same dreadful congestion on my return journey. I arrived home hours later, my spirits deflated, my time wasted. That night, I made a pact with myself: never again would I subject myself to such stress. Instead, I vowed that every day would be Valentine’s Day in my home, a daily celebration of love. I resolved not to wait until February 14th to express affection, but to share a bit of the Almighty's goodness with anyone who crossed my path.

I still believe that the frenzy surrounding Valentine’s Day defies the very essence of its message. Yet, how many of us truly inquire into the origins of the day? We are swept away by the allure of celebration, forgetting the deeper call to love that lies within it.

Valentine’s Day commemorates the story of a priest who defied the Roman Empire’s decree outlawing marriages among soldiers. Emperor Claudius II, embroiled in numerous wars, sought a strong army but noticed that many soldiers hesitated to join his campaigns. He surmised that their reluctance stemmed from the desire to remain with their wives and children. In a bid to strengthen his forces, the emperor outlawed all marriages, believing this would eliminate distractions and preserve the focus of his men.

Yet this priest, a man of great conviction, believed marriage to be sacred, essential to the well-being of men and society. He secretly married couples, defying the emperor’s decree. His noble actions, however, did not go unnoticed. The priest was apprehended and brought before Claudius. The emperor, impressed by the priest’s eloquence and wisdom, offered him the chance to renounce his faith and become a loyal Roman citizen. But the priest refused, steadfast in his beliefs, even daring to declare his Christian faith before the emperor.

Outraged by this defiance, Claudius ordered the priest's imprisonment, and, according to some accounts, he performed a miracle while incarcerated, healing the blind daughter of his jailer, Asterius. The jailer's family, moved by the priest's kindness, converted to Christianity. Before his execution, the priest is said to have written letters to his friends, signing them with the words "Remember your Valentine." The priest was martyred, believed to have been executed on February 14th, 269 or 270 A.D.

Some two centuries later, in 498 A.D., Pope Gelasius established February 14th as a day of remembrance for the priest, a martyr who gave his life in defense of holy matrimony. Yet, in a bitter irony, we often find ourselves jeopardizing the very institution he died to protect, all in the name of celebration.
So, how should we spend Valentine’s Day? Let us spare a moment of reflection, a prayer for the understanding of the importance of peaceful, loving family units, for they form the bedrock of society. Let us make those whom God has blessed us with happy, and pray that every soul in need might find someone to love. For this is the true spirit of Valentine’s Day— a spirit our world desperately requires.

Valentine’s Day serves as a reminder of love, that most fundamental of human values, necessary for peace and harmony. While we may argue that love should be celebrated every day, it is a fact that love is best expressed in our words and actions. We do not believe in making Valentine’s Day an overwhelming affair; in the realm of love, every day should, at the very least, hold the potential for greatness. But still, Valentine’s Day serves as a reminder to cherish those whom we love, to keep the flame of affection burning brightly.

For me, this day is not merely a celebration but a symbol— a gentle nudge to remember the love I share with those closest to my heart. It reminds me to honor that love daily, to keep it alive, and to cherish every moment.


Anwar A. Khan is a freedom
fighter who writes on politics
and international issues.