Divorce is Not Auspicious -The Asian Age

 Israt Jahan

Every man's first school is family. The first education is received from the family. But if the tune of separation is played in that family, then the biggest effect will be on the child in that family. The only goal of an adult is to live happily with a beautiful family, to laugh, play, and go back and forth. But one's life is honeyed and one's life is full of darkness. The word happiness is lost in decorating the house of happiness. The warmth of the happy world gradually cools down. Our arranged family sank in an instant. At one time divorce was an unusual thing because the word divorce was rarely heard then.  But now it is becoming abnormal. It seems to have become fashionable. It is seen to be separated from trivial matters, which can be easily solved if you want.

The reasons for divorce can be attributed to drugs, physical infirmity, monogamy, lack of patience, extramarital affairs, lust, indifference towards family, and many more. Just as one hand doesn't clap, so it would not be right to blame a man or a woman for divorce. But what is the main reason for the increase in divorce over time? Why is there so much strife in the marital life of the newlyweds? What is the main source?

The increasing rate of divorce in recent times has raised several questions about marital relationships. This relationship is a legal and social process. At present, it is seen that the number of women is higher in case of divorce. So the question may arise "why?" The role of women is more in arranging a family. But that woman is oppressed. The present age is the modern age. At this age, both parents are employed. They are always busy in their busy lives. Many are reluctant to have children. Some people show reluctance to take responsibility for their children after birth. Where the mother has the biggest role in raising the child, the mother is busy with her work. Then that child became a burden.

As a result, the child grows up neglected. At one stage it caused family problems. The result of this problem is divorce. Looking at the 21st century, it can be seen that there is a big gap between the women of that era and the women of the present era. In those days all authority was in the hands of men. He would accept everything from the silence of women. But now women have learned to stand on their own two feet.  Learned to keep pace with men. And this kind of living is a sign of improvement on the one hand but on the other hand, it is detrimental. However, men are also responsible for the divorce. They both deal with their confidence as they choose to embark on their play activities. But now the dissatisfaction is centered on the incident. Many times girls have to admit to torture.  Moreover, many men are involved in invalid relationships. And these are the reasons for separation.

Whether a working woman is a worker or a high-ranking official, whenever she wants to live like herself, society becomes an obstacle. Involving two people in a relationship called husband or wife does not mean buying one over the other. No man or woman has the right to deny the individual.

Every human being has a world of his own and the name of accepting this world easily is 'relationship'. If marriage means 'chain', then there must be a melody to break the shackles. If there is a difference in taste between two people in married life, then there will be a dilemma. Family means equal participation of two. No one will acquire or dominate anyone. Family does not mean that one will run at 100 miles and the other will fall at 40 miles. If the speed is not equal, at least if it does not come close, then some will go ahead and some will go back. The pace of the world stops as it moves forward and backward. People from two different poles can live together if they two accept each other easily and individually. No one in this world is like anyone else.

Some investigations have revealed that dowry claims of husband or husband's family, physical and mental abuse by both spouses, drug addiction, extramarital affairs, discord in the life of two persons, suspicion, lack of support from husband, disobedience of wife, Facebook, and divorce is happening because of multiple relationships through social media like Twitter and not living according to religious rules. And in the capital, the number of family breakups is increasing at an unusual rate. Most of it is from girls. Wives are spontaneously divorcing their husbands. Many decorated houses of the capital are crumbling due to the arrogance of the husband and wife's extramarital affairs or aristocracy, the happy family is being burnt to ashes. The use of the internet, Facebook, mobile phones, and all kinds of information technology is playing a special role in this regard. Inspiring various Hindi serials, dramas, and various domestic pornography of neighboring countries. Many men and women are losing their moral values due to the easy availability of these things. Moral erosion is also happening. In this, they are getting involved in serious social crimes like extramarital affairs.

When a husband and wife get divorced, their biggest impact is on their children. Divorce is extremely painful for children. Whatever the reason for the divorce between husband and wife, the child has a negative effect. The children of broken families have to grow up alone. The child's mental and physical health needs to be ensured by overcoming dilemmas, frustrations, and uncertainties through extreme awareness, expertise and deep love, and emotional support. Otherwise, he may not be able to get out of the adverse effects for the rest of his life, problems will remain in his personality and it will create problems in maintaining relationships with others in later life. Needless to say, things like divorce are usually not easily accomplished, it has some precedents that are not at all pleasant. Witness these unpleasant incidents but the little child. The child has to go through some unpleasant incidents like long-standing marital quarrels, mental disorders, physical abuse, and crying. The little children of the house can see and understand the atmosphere of the house. Even without seeing the parents 'quarrels directly, one can understand their anger, resentment, frustration, and pain by looking at their parents' looks, expressions, and gestures.

We have a misconception that children do not understand anything. Children understand everything and they understand the matter in their way.

Many husbands and wives use abusive language in front of their children or witness the incident. All of this has a long-term negative effect on the baby. Never make negative comments about a parent in front of a child. This makes the children feel very helpless and lost. If possible, reassure him that whatever has happened is between us, you are our child, and we love you. Often the issue of parents is strictly avoided in the family where the child is present. Even if the child has any questions about the parents, he cannot say anything out of fear. So if any question comes to his mind, he can ask it easily - maintain such an environment. Being the partner of his emotions, which is bigger than the object, reassures him and helps him to get out of this painful feeling. No matter who the parents are, the child has to stand by them for emotional support. Our awareness, love, and support for such children will give them the courage and morale to break free from the shackles of frustration, uncertainty, anxiety, and loneliness.

It is known that the number of divorces has increased by 99 per month this year as compared to last year. In this case, 70 percent of the divorces are given by women and 30 percent by men. Another statistic found that daily, one divorce application is filed every hour. According to the report of the Bangladesh Bureau of Statistics, at present 10.7 percent of women and 1.5 percent of men per thousand of the population are divorcing. This shows that women are more at risk of separation. The separation rate is 1.3 percent per thousand in rural areas and 0.7 percent in urban areas.

According to research data, those who enter into marital relations with minors are more at risk. If a person files for divorce, the arbitral tribunal arranges a meeting within 90 days to resolve the issue. As a result of this meeting, some people remain steadfast in their previous decisions and some reject the application. However, this rate is only 5 percent. Patience and mutual understanding are essential for arranging a family. Divorce is never good. A family needs to have religious education and mutual dignity. Let the family be warm forever, not by divorce but by the virtue of husband and wife. Divorce always has a bad effect on a child's life. Therefore, every family should be aware of the child.

Israt Jahan is a Student of Department of English at Chittagong College.