LETTER FROM KOLKATA
Published: 12:40 AM, 09 July 2018
The evil of dowry in India
Dowry in Indian wedding ceremonies has become a common habit. It is especially noticeable when girl children are married off at an early age. Sometimes even we find an educated groom, on being too much greedy for other's wealth, puts pressure upon the bride's family.
This excessive greed of grooms or their families has made dowry almost a 'recognized' custom of Indian society while especially in wedding. A question might crop up -- why has this social curse become a routine affair, or why can't the society eradicate it once for all. The task no doubt is difficult and does need thorough introspection.
Only a fragment of Indian populace protests this menace in our society whereas the rests are totally knave. Why is this so? To answer it one always reiterates with a sarcastic manner that it is the order of the day from the side of groom's family and hence the demand for dowry has become of 'paramount' importance.
The pity is that our society has 'accepted' it as a normal affair and, for so, it should be severely taken to task to refine it. Dowry problem has reached its peak level in the rural India even though the urban India is better in this respect. Nevertheless, there is, too, avarice among the educated classes which is why dowry is gradually unrolling its petals in the urban society.
The financial and psychological pain the bride's family has to take while catering to the demand of the bridegroom's family seems totally unbearable. This is very shocking when all of us are in the midst of modern progressive trends where an innovation spree is going on in India. These progressive minds must wake up to stop and eliminate this disease from society.
Acceptance of dowries in Indian wedding is no doubt a veritable social menace and crimes as per the views of counseling psychologists based in different parts of the country.
In India there is a massive social problem that birth rates among the poor and illiterate sections are terribly on the higher rate. So when the poor and illiterate parents aim to marrying their girl children off the problems of dowry arise vehemently.
In this regard the poor parents also tend to fetch a 'good' husband for the security of their underage girls which also aggravates dowry problem.
Lack of awareness among the parents makes them to deny their daughters of proper education, thus assisting in making another ignorant generation parents. This concept among the poor Indian parents is unexpected. Here lie our responsibilities.
These parents should be taught to become aware of the fact that their daughters, too, should be provided with opportunities to have proper education for their prosperity and enlightenment in life.
A set of suggestions, made by the experts, need to be followed to have the society free from the menace of dowry:
* Mental grooming of human beings should be upgraded to new heights.
* Proper education among average Indians should be encouraged.
* Greediness among common Indians should be overcome forever.
* In the post marital phases of bride's life, groom's family should not misbehave at all with the bride on account of non-receipt of dowry.
* Bridegrooms and their families should not resort to murder of brides for non-receipt of expected dowry.
Independent India's constitution was promulgated by the father of modern Indian constitution, B R Ambedkar, way back on January 26 in 1950. It was again in the year of 1961, eleven years after the historic moment, Indian Parliament passed its first anti-dowry legislation which has been enacted to abolish the menace from the threshold of our societies.
This law was further amended in 1984 and 1986. Sociologists and counseling psychologists always opine that unless and until Indian citizens do have self-realization and awareness, this social menace cum criminal activities cannot be abolished forever. As Indians, especially in the urban areas, are becoming educated, they should also properly utilize the sanctity of education.
Lastly, it can be evaluated without doubt that married males should play the crucial part so that married women are at least saved from the scourge of the menace of dowry.
Apart from husbands, relatives of the bride's in-laws are also responsible to a greater extent who also aggravate the tense situation of the bride in her in-laws'house.However, married women should be cautious beforehand regarding all these matters.
Poet, novelist, Nobel Laureate and short story writer Rabindranath Tagore has done an excellent job in regard to anti-dowry campaign.
In most of his short stories he categorically stated 'dowry should be abolished from the threshold of our societies at the onset otherwise we will not be in a position to rise above parochial mental makeup.'
This should be the motto among all bridegroom's mind in both urban and rural heartlands of India. Or else, acceptance of dowry will remain a menace to the societies forever.
The writer is based in Kolkata
