Published: 12:39 AM, 07 June 2026
Make Albino Great Again
The Oval Office, The White House Official Residence of the President of the United States Washington, D.C. Time: June 2026
Characters: Donald Trump: President of the United States
Marco Rubio: U.S. Secretary of State
President Donald Trump was not seated at his desk. Instead, he paced slowly across the room, his expression alternating between flashes of irritation and faint amusement. His countenance reflected a complex mix of frustration, anger, and irony. Occasionally, he adjusted his signature golden hair with his left hand. He was dressed in a black suit, a white shirt, and a red tie, the front of which hung notably low. A sharp knock broke the silence at the door. "Come in," Trump said. "Good morning, Mr. President," Secretary of State Marco Rubio said, stepping into the office. "Good morning, Marco. Exactly how long have you been heading the State Department?" Trump stopped pacing, his expression turning solemn. "I assumed office on January 21, 2025. That makes it roughly a year and a half, Mr. President," Rubio replied. "You seem entirely consumed by Israel. Are you at all aware of recent developments in Bangladesh?" Trump asked sharply. "Is there an issue, sir?" "An issue? It is a significant issue—a very big problem, in fact. Look at my desk. I have computer printouts of today's intelligence from Bangladesh. I had hard copies prepared to save your department time. Ensure this is distributed to everyone at State immediately," Trump commanded. "Yes, sir, I am aware. I assume you are referring to the rare breed of buffalo that has recently gone viral globally," Rubio noted calmly. "Exactly. Why wasn't this brought to my attention sooner? Buffaloes graze on grass, Marco. Has the State Department been asleep at the wheel?" Trump demanded.
Trump walked over to his desk, gathered the documents, and handed them to Rubio. "Review these. The animal's image is printed directly alongside mine—ensure you view the color copies. I must admit, the resemblance is uncanny. I am a realist, and frankly, I commend the owner." A brief smile appeared on Trump’s face as he pointed to the printout headlines: Watch a buffalo in Bangladesh nicknamed Donald Trump... Bangladesh buffalo named Donald Trump goes viral... The Bangladesh buffalo and its extraordinary golden... A 700 kg rare Albino buffalo nicknamed Donald Trump… A giant 700 kg buffalo nicknamed Donald Trump... Bangladesh’s Donald Trump… "Yes, Mr. President. The probability of such a resemblance is one in a million. Such anomalies seem unique to Bangladesh; it is a remarkably diverse nation," Rubio said, visibly relieved. "But you have yet to brief me on the specifics of this animal," Trump countered. "In short, Reuters reports the buffalo weighs approximately 700 kilograms, though it has lost some weight recently due to the surge of international media attention and crowds gathering for photographs. The owner is a Mr. Zia Uddin Mridha, who operates Rabeya Agro Farm—a livestock facility that breeds and sells cattle, buffalo, and goats. The farm is located near Narayanganj, a river port roughly ten to twelve miles from Dhaka. Recognizing the animal's unique traits early on, the owner raised it with meticulous care, managing its diet and grooming its golden coat daily. Strategically, this was a commercial venture.
Mr. Mridha anticipated high market demand ahead of Eid-ul-Adha, the holy festival of sacrifice. As an astute businessman, he named the animal 'Donald Trump' and prominently marked the name on its back to maximize buyer visibility." "An entrepreneurial approach," Trump acknowledged. "Precisely. He utilized free-market principles to achieve his commercial objectives. While he received substantial initial offers, he held out for a higher valuation. Typically, domestic media in Bangladesh focuses on the highest-priced sacrificial animals during this season. However, overall livestock prices fell this year due to the economic instability left by the former administration of Prime Minister Sheikh Hasina, who accumulated extensive foreign debt. While the interim government under Dr. Yunus managed to stabilize the exchange rate, the burden of these debt servicing schedules, commencing this June, has fallen upon the newly elected administration of Prime Minister Tarique Rahman, leader of the Bangladesh Nationalist Party. It is a highly challenging fiscal environment," Rubio explained. "I see," Trump murmured, momentarily reflecting. "Furthermore," Rubio continued, "the situation has drawn international commentary."
"Satirical cartoons and editorials linking your policy positions to this albino buffalo have surfaced globally, particularly within the European Union and on the BBC. Critics are using the comparison to characterize your administration as unpredictable or confrontational. Following your statements regarding the acquisition of Greenland and the proposed integration of Canada, European commentators have described your approach using the adage 'a bull in a china shop.' In Dhaka, this has resonated locally with references to prominent ceramic retailers on Elephant Road, such as Monno and Shinepukur Ceramics, suggesting your policies cause similar disruption," Rubio stated candidly.
"Setting humor aside, housing the animal at the zoo poses security risks. The daily crowds are immense, drawing international tourists, including American citizens." Trump paused, then asked, "Marco, do you recall where John Lennon was assassinated?" "John Lennon was assassinated outside his New York City apartment building on December 8, 1980, by Mark David Chapman, a fan seeking notoriety. Chapman remains incarcerated, as the parole board consistently denies release on the grounds of public safety," Rubio answered. "Correct. But consider the motivation: Chapman sought global infamy. If an individual targets this buffalo in Dhaka, they achieve indirect notoriety through my name. Given that U.S. Secret Service recently neutralized two threats against me at the White House, safety is paramount.
If a security breach occurs amid those crowds, the media fallout would be chaotic. We must intervene. Instruct Ambassador Kristiansen to coordinate immediately with Bangladesh’s Home Minister, Salahuddin, to relocate the animal to a secure, undisclosed location until transport can be arranged." "Understood, Mr. President," Rubio responded. "The reality is clear, Marco. Maintaining global stability requires decisive action, which often invites criticism. Our domestic actions regarding Venezuela are viewed by some as unilateral.
We are still working toward a diplomatic resolution in Ukraine. Geopolitical tensions remain high across the Middle East. Our European allies, including Spain and Italy, remain risk-averse, and the United Kingdom offers primarily rhetorical support. Currently, our alignment with Israel is a primary focal point—" "To clarify, United States foreign policy firmly supports Israel," Rubio interjected. "Naturally. Yet few international critics acknowledge that the United States funds twenty-two percent of the United Nations budget, over twenty-six percent of UN peacekeeping operations, and a dominant share of NATO's expenditures.
These metrics must be emphasized to our European counterparts and communicated clearly to the Bangladesh Chief of Army Staff, General Waker-uz-Zaman, to ensure regional alignment. While this situation has impacted our public relations, my response to Bangladesh will be constructive rather than punitive," Trump said with a measured smile. "Are you proposing a formal bilateral initiative?" Rubio asked, surprised. "Absolutely. This requires immediate diplomatic engagement. It is a top priority. Instruct our embassy in Dhaka to initiate proceedings. Remind me of our current envoy's name." "Ambassador Brett Lee Kristiansen. He assumed his post in Dhaka on January 12th of this year," Rubio provided. "This directive remains strictly confidential and carries maximum priority," Trump stated authoritatively, taking his seat. Rubio seated himself opposite the desk as sunlight filled the room. "The weather is favorable today," Trump observed, noting down instructions.
Directive: Operation Buffalo Rescue. Secure the immediate transfer of the animal from the Dhaka Zoo. Coordinate directly with Home Minister Salahuddin, whose swift action in securing the animal prior to the festival prevented an escalation of the public relations issue. Convey my formal appreciation to his office. Additionally, clarify the background of the farm's owner, Mr. Zia. The name is prominent in Bangladesh history. Is there a relation? "No, Mr. President," Rubio clarified. "The historical figure you are referring to is the late President Ziaur Rahman, a military general and key figure in Bangladesh's Liberation War, noted for his administrative integrity. Following political transitions in 1975, he assumed the presidency. His widow, Begum Khaleda Zia, subsequently served as Prime Minister for three terms, and their son, Tarique Rahman, has assumed office following the recent democratic elections."
"A complex history. The family has faced significant challenges." "We could review current bilateral trade measures and consider easing specific tariffs on Bangladeshi imports to support their economic recovery," Trump suggested. Rubio added, "Concurrently, we should ensure reciprocal cooperation on key strategic objectives." "Authorize Air Force One to facilitate the transport of Mr. Mridha and the animal to Washington. Ensure appropriate veterinary accommodations and climate control are established on board. Expedite all diplomatic visas. In return, we can facilitate agricultural opportunities in Texas or Arkansas for livestock development, alongside expedited residency pathways. I anticipate the offer will be well received," Trump outlined. "Have you considered the long-term branding implications? This may institutionalize the nomenclature," Rubio cautioned.
"The economic opportunities are notable. Successful breeding programs for American Albino livestock could supply global zoological institutions, creating a niche export market and contributing positively to our trade balance." "Furthermore, this diplomatic gesture provides a powerful media distraction and demonstrates cultural outreach to Muslim-majority nations, which may foster more favorable conditions for energy commodity pricing." "Finally, it provides necessary diplomatic leverage regarding our Middle Eastern foreign policy. Unilateral actions by Prime Minister Netanyahu, including recent operations in Tehran that compromised regional leaders and civilian infrastructure, complicate our strategic objectives. I communicated clearly to him last Wednesday that current operational methods lack broader international support and contrast sharply with stable, predictable diplomacy.
A joint appearance with Mr. Mridha will emphasize our focus on international cooperation. Let us expedite the photo session upon their arrival," Trump concluded. "Understood, Mr. President. One final operational note: I advise against utilizing standard red branding materials during the press conference, as a precautionary measure regarding livestock behavior," Rubio advised. "Noted. If diplomatic gridlock persists in Tel Aviv, we will utilize this initiative as a unique diplomatic lever." "If executed successfully, this could significantly stabilize our international public relations. Do you anticipate this might influence future Nobel Peace Prize considerations?" Rubio inquired. "Current geopolitical alignments make traditional consensus unlikely. However, this humanitarian and agricultural initiative will resonate strongly with conservationists and agricultural trade groups. Whether it results in joint international recognition for Mr. Mridha and myself remains secondary. Our focus remains on durable leadership. If our standard economic agenda transitions into securing this unique legacy, it remains a lasting achievement. Let us proceed." Note: This text is a dramatic simulation for creative and analytical purposes.
Shafik Rehman is a veteran
journalist, chartered accountant,
author and Editor, Jai Jai Din.
